![]() She’s not going to do anything else for you. A hundred and twenty thousand dollars! I have friends I went to college with and they’re like, “You should donate and be a good alumnus.” And they wear shirts that say “school” and it’s like, look, if you’re an adult still giving money to your college, college is a $120,000 hooker and you are an idiot who fell in love with her. But do you remember that scene from It’s a Wonderful Life? Great movie, Frank Capra, 1946. “Where’s the money? Where’s that money, you fat motherfucker? Where’s my money? Stay down on the ground, you motherfucker!” That’s not the dialogue. What kind of a cokehead relative… What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You spent it already? I gave you more money than the Civil War cost and you fucking spent it already? Where’s my money? I felt like Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life when he’s screaming at his uncle Billy. Okay, so you might say that I already gave them $120,000 and now you have the audacity to ask me for more money. ![]() So it was about $120,000, okay? So roughly speaking, I gave my college about $120,000. So it was about $30,000 a year for four years. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but rounding up, back in 1999 dollars, it was about $15,000 a semester, two semesters a year, for four years. Every semester, two semesters a year, for four years. You see, what had happened, New York, was that when I was a student, I had paid them tuition money. You remember?” I say, “Yes, of course.” And they said… how did they phrase it? They said, “Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money.” I found this peculiar. ![]() Holy shit, right? I just got a letter from my college, which was fun ’cause mail, you know? So I open up the letter and they said, “Hey, John, it’s college.
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